Ain't nuthin' like the real thing, baby...

Someone recently asked me about the strangest thing I have ever had in my mouth .

Easy one.

Years ago, I was dating this fellow.

We'll call him........Captain Fantastic.

Captain Fantastic and I dated for maybe....three or four months before I was ready to go past second base.

So....

One fairly romantic night.....Captain Fantastic, having been behaving perfectly charming and Captain Fantastic-ish, wore my defenses down. We were drinking lots and lots of "Lil' Slut Viagra" (aka wine).

He sits down in my wing-back chair, and pulls me into his lap. We start making out, and it's...well....it's Fantastic. :)

So we make out.

And we make out.

And we make out some more.

And my drunk Lil' Slut self decides she is in the mood to shock Captain Fantastic.

Soooo....

I crawl (or maybe I should say slink) down his body and kneel on the floor.

His lustfilled eyes widen.

I look up at him, smiling rather innocently (and yes, I can appear quite innocent), and he growls at me.

I reach for his belt, and he looks ready to hyperventilate.

He tries to reach for me again, but I push his hands away.

I undo his belt, lean forward, and unzip his pants with my teeth.

....mmmmmm.....I am sitting here grinning at my computer screen, just remembering the shocked expression on his face....

I reach inside his pants, and for the first time touch his manly appendage.

(hehehehehee)

He squirms and moans, which of course, thrills me down to my toes.

I widen his fly for easier access.

Everything comes flying out.....

....and I notice.....something is......lopsided.....strangely shaped....awkward.....odd.

I try not to gawk, and think to myself, self, you're drunk. You're not seeing what you think you're seeing.

Sooo.....

I lean forward and slowwwwly begin teasing Captain Fantastic's mini-Captain Fantastic with my lips and my tongue.

He's squirming more and moaning louder, and I am trying not to giggle.

I LOVE the power of sucking cock. It fucking THRILLS me! I live for moans and groans and "choke on my cum you little slut".... ;)

I reach up and lightly touch his balls while I am......"performing"......and I think to myself.....uhm....weird.

Sooo....

I'm between his legs multi-tasking (*grin*), and I can't stop thinking something is really, really odd.

I grasp his very hard, very nice cock in my hands, and lower my mouth to his balls.

I start with tracing my tongue lightly over each one, trying to ignore the slight difference in texture, still thinking to myself, DRUNK!

I move my hands up and down his "protruding member" (*laughing*) and gently begin to suck on his balls.

I move from the left one to the right one.

And.

Freeze.

I look up at him, confused.

He looks down at me, with a very strange look upon his face.

I arch an eyebrow, waiting....

He sighs and tells me a story about an illness from years before that he had successfully recovered from....

Sooo....to answer the "....strangest thing I ever had in my mouth" question....

Well dearies....

It was a synthetic ball.